Free State

This past weekend was my biggest race yet.  It was the race to end all races.  It was... dun dun dun... FREE STATE (echo echo echo)...  OK, I know humor is not always my strong point but it made me chuckle.  The week leading up to Free State I was a mess, complete basket case, wondering what the hell was wrong with me.   Why did I sign up for a 100K?  Why did I convince Charlie and Travis too?  Why did I let Brian?  UGH!  Then multiple people told me to stop worrying about everyone else and worry about my race.  It helped but still the thought of Free State sent me into cold sweats.  Friday came and we loaded up the car because we were staying by where the race was and we were going to help out at packet pick up the night before.  I asked to leave work early that day because I knew we had a lot to get done the night before and I knew I was going to make myself crazy.  That night I could not sleep, thought of sugar plums did not dance in my head.  Instead thoughts of being stranded in the woods without a head lamp haunted me a long with three little letters D-N-F.  This is where I should have inserted DUN DUN DUN.  So 230pm rolls around at work and I leave a dust trail as I run out of work.  I go and pick up Brian, and were off.  We head straight to Gary Gribbles in Lawrence to help with packet pick up.  We walk in and its Mel and Coco working packet pick up and that's a good thing.  Mel is funny and good entertainment.  She is a constant at most races and lends a big hand, and always is smiling and encouraging.  We grab our packets, Charlie's, and Travis, and we help hand out some other packets.  Brian tries to convince multiple people to up the anty.  They all seem to think hes nuts.  Then one gentleman walks in  (yellow visor).

This gentleman is from Australia and always seems to have a great sense of humor at every race that I talk to him at.  When he comes up I ask where his dog his, I thought he was another runner who had a boxer brindle also and he looks at me like I'm crazy.  Not that this is anything new.  Then Brian remembers him from one of the winter races we helped out.  Brian asks him to do the 100K, he says no he thinks he will stick with the 40 miler.  He then proceeds to ask Brian what his longest training run to date was and Brian replies 21 miles.  I think his jaw dropped to the floor and he told Brian he was bloody crazy.  He was horrified but Brian fed off it and if it got him threw the race then it was good. Brian, Mel and myself talked with him for a bit about the trails to shoes. At one point Mel and I write messages to runners we know on the back of the bib to encourage them (Mindy still gets the prize),  and before long packet pick up was CLOSED.  We leave to go get dinner and we text Charlie and Travis because they were rooming with us at the hotel the night before.  We eat and head to the hotel, Charlie and Travis will be there about midnight.  We try to relax and I check in with Heather and Katie.  Heather was going to pace me lap 2 and Katie lap 3.  All is well.  Charlie and Travis arrive after weave been asleep and I'm sure Charlie is going to be hyper as hell.  Its Charlie and so the first thing I say to him is if you don't go to sleep I will beat you.  Well he must have been REAL tired or scared of my massive guns because he went to sleep.  We hear Travis tell Charlie to stay on his side of the bed and we chuckle and doze back off.  Before we all know it, its 4am and we need to get up.   I think Charlie and Brian both groaned when the alarm went off.  I instantly seem to pop up and dash for the bathroom because I was not going to fight with three boys over it.  I'm dressed, Charlie has his "coordinating" outfit on.  Travis and Brian get dressed, then for some reason we ask Charlie if hes wearing a hat to start off.  He tells us no.  I'm going to have gel in my hair.  I think we all stare at him like he's nuts.  Why is Charlie doing his hair for a 62 mile run?  Because its Charlie....  I really can't explain but he makes running life interesting.  Then Brian and I are throwing last minute stuff in our drop bags and ask the guys if they have bug spray, Travis I think said no.  Charlie pulls out a lovely little silver spray bottle from Burt's Bees and informs us it smells like melons.....  2nd time where Brian and I just stare for a second and start laughing.  I tell Charlie melon is not a manly smell, that is going to attract bugs not discourage them.  He tells me it smells good.  I'm not sure how long this banter goes back and forth but eventually Charlie and I have our hair done for the race and we all leave for Starbucks.  I think someone takes Charlies man card but he gets it back after running 62 miles.

We pull into Starbucks, Brian and I had checked into this before we even checked into the hotel, and I run up to the door to see what time they open.  It says 530.  Its 526.  I run back and tell the boys we have a few minutes and then when 530 rolls around Brian gets out to knock on Starbucks door to get them to open it only to find out its open.  Damn coffee houses.  We all get our coffee and go back to the car and Charlie pulls his go pro.  Go pro is a little camera you were on your head.  Well he turns it on and starts his narration but hes talking like the captain in star trek when hes making his log.  Dramatic effect maybe?  I don't know but I know Brian, Travis and I give him the crazy look. About twenty minutes later we pull into the race area and its around 6am.  I hop out at the porta potties because as usual I have to go again, and they park.  We all start pulling out our bags and watching others pull up that we know.  Dick Ross is taking pictures as always...

Erin and Brian

Charlie, Travis and myself

This is take number 2 of Charlie and Travis, when you see 1 you will know why.

Take 1

We all make our way to where everyone is gathering and see our friends and try to calm nerves.  Travis up'd from 40 miles to 100K.  I went to the bathroom at least one more time.  Dick Ross comes over and tells Brian he has singlets so Brian goes running to get one.  Travis looks a little confused and I found out later he thought that Brian was getting one of those wrestling singlets and wearing it.  I cant blame him, its something Brian would do but no just a race singlet. 

Brian, myself, Travis, Charlie and Bryan Hay

Eventually Ben Holmes says its time, gives us brief instructions on how to get to the trail and what to watch for, and were off.

Charlie and his go pro...

Myself, Brian and Travis

Travis and Brian

We hit the trail single file after the main gravel road and everyone is packed together and moving at a good pace.  A few minutes in I realize I haven't turned on my Nike band and so I do.  Charlie we find is ahead with Coleen, then a few people later its me, then Travis, then Brian is back a little bit also.  We run for a bit and the terrain is a little technical at times and I try to make mental notes because if I have issues anywhere I want to remember on my second and third loop.  Down by the lake its rocky and it makes it difficult to run.  Its more of a climbing expedition for me but the view is spectacular.

Charlie - I'm not really sure what hes doing here.  Not sure if I want to know.  I do wonder if he was doing his "video" voice while running.  

Me

Travis (I think he was contemplating going surfing later)

Brian

We get to the first manned aid station at Lands End and I look for Heather but don't see her, I fill my water bottle back up, grab pb&j tortilla, a salt tab and I'm getting ready to take off when Heather grabs me for a quick hug.  She asks how I'm feeling and I tell her I feel great.  I holler at Brian, Charlie and Travis and tell them I'm going and Brian heads out with me.  Charlie and Travis say they didn't hear me and it was crazy at the first aid station.  I take off and Brian and I run together for about one minute.  Then I'm by myself and enjoying being away from the pack.  I have no idea where everyone is but its nice.  Then I hear someone coming up behind me...

Aaron

I had talked to him briefly when we first started running and then he peeled off the trail with the other guys and when he caught up we start talking about how nice it is to be away from the pack.  We introduce ourselves and he says his name is Aaron,  I tell him my name and he says that will be easy to remember because that is his wife's name.  We talk kids, jobs, running and before I know it we are at the Army Corp of Engineer aid station.  We passed Brian Brooks on the way up who was smiling as always, and Larry Long who was just running away happy as can be.  First to get to the aid station you have to run up road  and then do this evil loop which is maybe a mile but it just seems evil.  We'll call it the black hole.  We run it and go through the aid station, and Aaron and I head back out together.  We've got a good pace and were talking military because he was in and where we've been stationed. Before I know it we are at Lands End (you pass through Lands End twice each loop) and I check in with Heather and were off.  Before I know it Charlie goes flying by us grinning minus the camera and looking like the cat who ate the canary.  I forget what I yelled at him but he is off.  I'm looking at him one minute and then the next I fall.  It was a fall that was reminiscent of Lake Perry.  Only this time I don't lay there, Aaron helps me up and we take off again.  I didn't even assess what was hurting which was good.  I am a little upset that GU Chomps and gummy bears are covered with dirt.  Travis catches up to us and runs with us, Aaron and I talk and before I know it - its 4 hrs and 12 minutes in and we are done with the first loop.

Charlie is changing clothes and Deb is getting ready to go back out with him.  I go to the bathroom, grab food, Jen gets me wipes to clean off because I still have dirt from my fall on me.  Fill up the water bottle, and Aaron and I take off.  We talk of if we can keep this pace we could finish in 12 -13 hours.  To me that would just be unbelievable.  But slowly I start to trail behind.  Travis isn't far behind me and I catch glimpses of him and glimpses of Aaron in front of me but my energy level is dying.  I did for GU Chomps and eat and run and I get back to the lake.  This is the cool version of what happened in my mind at the lake.  A giant man eating black dragon hops out from under a rock. We proceed to sword fight, don't ask where the sword came from, its just there.   I scream and he flies away after we banter and I name him Marty since Marty was not with us that day.  Now here's what really happened a large black lizard creature comes out from under a rock with a crazy look in his eye, I scream and run away.  I ran off so fast I was scared that I didn't end up on the right path even though by the third loop I realize the path was hard to miss.  After my little run in with the lizard I slow down and try to get to Lands End to get to Heather so maybe if any more angry lizards come out me she can fight them and it just doesn't seem to be coming up.  I'm to the point where I wonder if I'm on the right path again but sporadic pink flags point the way.  Finally after what seemed hours after my epic battle with Marty the dragon I get to lands end.  Heather helps me retie my shoes, I eat, pop salt tabs, fill back up and we take off.  I ask if shes seen Brian and she tells me his plugging along and we talk and all that.  Then I get cranky because Heather is really happy and perky and excited.  Me im hitting grump fest.  I'm tripping and angry and I tell her I don't like her perkiness.  Then I apologize immediately because that's not like me.  I was straight being mean and well I needed smacked or whatever.  Well settle for a brutal second lap.  We slowly get to lands end again and go through the black hole.  We see Deb and Charlie at the aid station, (I had seen Deb earlier and she had checked on me).  Travis catches up, Charlie and I banter like brother and sister.  I lean towards violent remarks when I'm cranky.  I actually tend to sound like a drunken sailor.  All of eventually take off together and slowly Deb, Charlie, and Travis pulls away.  Heather makes the remark that Travis seems like he just wants it done.  I finally hit my second wind and we start running for awhile, and then it goes to off and on.  Then I start tripping on rocks.  We get to Lands End again, I eat, drink and try to be merry.  I did find however that when I'm running long races all I want is a coke.  That is like the best damn thing ever.  Every aid station that was my main focus.  We take off again and I don't remember what happened but I trip and fall again but I manage to twist myself and fall in a decent spot that is not completely horrible but I bang my hip on a rock or tree stump.  But Heather gets me up and going again.  We eventually get to the end of Loop 2.  I think the time was 9hrs and 30 minutes.  I head straight for the bathroom again and then I clean up again and start eating and my trail nerd family is on me getting things.  Heather is getting me a clean shirt, socks and shoes.  Katie is checking to see if I'm ok and ready to go. I get love from a random golden lab or retriever and that helps.  I get all prettied back up and head back out.  Katie leads, then myself, and then Heather.  I feel like a celebrity with body guards and I secretly dare Marty to make an appearance.  Another gentleman joins us for a bit and were running and then this sound that sounded like Rosemary's baby from the womb come from my stomach.  I groan.  This is not happening.  I tell Heather and Katie I got to go and I don't mean one.  They look at me and look at the forest.  I know I got a look like please no.  Then the sound keeps growing and all I can see in my mind is pictures of people pooping themselves during runs.  Its not pretty. Id so much rather get the name Pee pants or Piss Pants but not Poop Pants.  The sounds grows louder and they both look at me and then Heather hands me wipes and I know.  So I try to find a way to get back there to a spot, that is snake free, lizard free, not horrible and proceed to do my first poop in the woods.  You know the old saying when a tree falls in the woods does anybody hear it.  Well that day I was certain that everyone heard that debacle.  TMI.  I know.  When I'm done I get a branch and dig a little whole to hide it and clean myself up and I feel better.  Highly embarrassed but better.  So we are off again.  We get to the rocks and we for some reason end up talking about boys and Adam Levine and that carries us through to Lands End. Heather drops off there and Katie and I eat and take off.  Heather and Katie are both great pacers.  Heather is very by the book, she is going to make you eat, drink and be prepared.  Katie is more eat something drink something, I'm not gonna coddle you lets go.  So we are walking at first while I eat and did I mention there were cheese quesadillas.  After 40 plus miles those were the best thing freaking ever invented to man.  Katie finds flat spots and tells me to run before dark.  We talk Adam Levine, music and what not.  Before I know we are at the Corp of Engineers spot and the Black Hole.  We finish the black hole, eat, drink and leave again.  We head out and turn on head lamps on and somewhere between the next 3-5 miles the unspeakable happens.  All I can say is, it involves a thorn bush and some other things.  We will leave it at that.  Or if you need information we will say Katie and I skipped through the woods and played with bunnies while listening to Adam Levine. Yes that sounds much better.  Katie and I get through the incident and  slowly get to Lands End and I grab a coke and gummies.  Heather is happy and relieved to see me and says she will meet me at the Finish line.  We take off for our last 3-4 miles.  Those were the longest 3-4 miles of my life.  At one point I try to give Katie a yellow gummy for a piggy back ride and I get a resounding NO.  I always joke about getting a piggy back ride during long runs but I never intend on taking them.  Katie and I see a bunny and I almost fall on my face again.  I'm pretty sure it laughed but I could be delusional.  Then about half a mile from the end we see a head lamp and hear Heather.  That was the next to best moment in that race.  Heather tells us how far we have to go and runs back to tell everyone were coming.  Katie gets a shuffle out of me a little more and then we hit the gravel path that lead us down to the trails.  I think when we hit I almost cried.  I'm pretty sure I just stared at Katie also.  But then I run, maybe it was a shuffle but it felt like I run.  I hear people cheeering and it feels like I just won the Boston.  I'm told to follow the head lamps which after 62 miles is so hard. Brian hugs me. Ben gives me a big hug, Mel whips out her camera and I am handed the belt buckle.

And also a coke.Terri Edwards (who I kept randomly looking for all day) hands me a bag full of her homemade cookies.  Mel tries to give me oreos. But its all good.  I got a belt buckle

This race was phenomenal.  There were moments where I didn't think I could make it but friends,strangers, volunteers, all got me through this.  This was a spectacular race.  I will definitely be running it again. Things I learned, Marty the lizard is an a$$hole, my pacers were the best, and Charlie is way too hyper the day after a 100K. And never to speak of the "incident."

Happy Running!

Brew to Brew

While I realize I have not blogged in awhile, I just have not had anything to blog about.  Yes, I've been training, with plans of Free state looming I have been logging miles like nobodies business, and I suppose what is where my genius plan of running the entire Brew to Brew came about.  I needed a good long run before Free state and I needed a challenge.  Not that my life wasn't challenging.  I am not sure how it even came about.  Brian and I were talking about B2B and I think it was some great moment where I said oh I could have company for a full 44 plus miles.  That would be good, Brian didn't argue at all with me.  I think he agreed or he couldn't talk me out of it....  Who knows.  So we had assembled a great team for Free state... In the end we had, Brian, myself, Charlie, Bryan H, Heather, Marty B, Erica, Shannon, Jen, and Deb, a team that was sure to be fun.  I'm sure every time all those names are said together - Everyone screams WONDER POWERS UNITE!!!!

So a few days before the race, Charlie and I were talking and apparently him and I think too much alike because he had the same plans for B2B.  That made my day, Charlie and I run very much alike and have since the day we met and we have off days where one runs faster than the other but its just a fact of life. Charlie was nervous as was I but I knew he was good, Charlie is a runner who checks everything out before he embarks on it, he probably knows the new shoe ideas before the people invent them do.  Hes the Rain Man of running information at times.  But a lot of my friends are like that, they all have different super running powers.... REALLY THEY DO!  I just cant always remember what they are until were running and then I'm like oh that's your power.
So, race morning came and the day before Brian and I were running around like mad people trying to get everything done.  Believe it or not I had made an awesome tutu for the race that I am still upset with myself for not wearing it more.  I was really paranoid of chaffing.  Chaffing is the enemy.  Ive never had a bad case before Brew to Brew and I wasn't about to set myself up. (i know I'm doing a lot of pointless babbling here but I can not help it.) So Charlie meets us at our place on Sunday and we all head to Jen's.  Can we say dog tired?  Yes that was my name that day. We get to Jens and everyone but Marty is there ready to go.  Marty was at the starting line patiently waiting on us. It was a nice morning but that was meaning it was going to hotter than hell later in my mind.  Still I will take heat over sleeting rain any day for Brew to Brew.  Hands down.  Eventually we all get to the starting line and Charlie, Brian H, and I assemble.  We see Lou Joline walking around in an interesting hat, at one point he tells me I have a great costume and that confuses me because I wasn't in a costume or maybe I was just having a bad hair day.  Who knows.  We did have zombie shirts that were epic....

Eventually were off - Bryan Hays is hyper as always and ready to go, Charlie has a look for just a second of what the f*ck have you gotten me into and for a brief moment I panic because I don't know why the blue freaking hell I think I can run 44 miles.  But eventually Bryan H slows just a bit to keep Charlie and I on pace and we start our run. We go under bridges and see trolls with interesting hair (best volunteer costumes ever), Bryan H, Charlie and I banter, Cars drive by us and honk and we watch for our crew.  We always hollered when cars drove by and honked, we didn't care if they weren't our team... :)

 We had to deal with a few road runners that were rude when they passed and of course I ran into the wall a bit but it was early.  That's about my only defense.  Bryan H had to stop and listen for the iron horses when we passed over one rail road track, we had no worries.  We were gonna have fun.  We talked beer and running, and all the good stuff while we were starting.  We hit the Levee after the first leg, our lovely team was there screaming for us and all.

And that's when my bladder did a OH MY GOD I HAVE TO PEE NOW.  At that point we were somewhere behind my work and I contemplated convincing the boys to run up to work with me real fast.  I was not hitting the woods, I am not a coordinated person and that is why God had porta potties invented.  For those of us who could fall down in the woods and pee all over themselves and God knows what.  I do tell the guys that I have to pee and I think Bryan looked at the woods and I'm pretty sure I told him f*ck no.  So I'm whining while we run and at one point Bryan starts to go off the path like hes gonna hit the woods and a devil voice comes out of me that sounded like a transvestite man - YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PEE WITHOUT ME!  Bryan then informs me he was shooting snot rockets and I give the sheepish I'm a f*ckhead look to him.  Yes I shouldn't want to torture my team mate but I was pretty sure the second he started to pee my bladder would just give out and Id be nick named piss pants for the rest of my running life.    But eventually we did make it to end of Leg 2 and I got to the bathroom.  Shannon joined us at the point and we were off again.  We all chit chatted, the boys would run off for a bit, Shannon and I would run off for a bit.  Then we would run together. It was a good leg,  I held back because I knew what was coming with the hills on leg 5 or 6 and I wanted to have energy.  The weather was still decent.  Deb joined around leg 5 and she rocked the braids like me.  She had had coffee and Deb on coffee is like an energizer bunny on extra batteries.  :)  So we run and eventually we're at Leg 6 (things started to blur for a bit).

Eventually we make it to where Brian, Heather, Erica, and Marty are waiting to join us.  Heather is set into super pacer mode and assessing what you need and asking a lot of questions.  I think I'm past a certain point of bitchiness but I'm still going.  Marty, Heather, and Erica take the lead, Charlie jumps in in the middle, and Brian and I bring up the rear.  We hit that first hill and all I can remember is the first year sleet and snow and I don't want to run.  All I can think is F that.  So Brian and I half run walk the hills, while running in between.  Once again the next couple of legs blur together except for a few more emergency bathroom trips.  I do make it every time.  At one point on the next to last leg we're running up a gravel road and all of a sudden a man in a leopard skin bikini goes running by us.  Brian and I are right by each other and we look at each other and we both look like WTH.  Brian just stops.  I mean how does one react to a very pale man in a leopard skin bikini?  I give him props because there is no way in heck I am running any race in a bikini of any sort.  That was insane.  But he broke up the monotonu and gave us something different to focus on.  We make it to the last leg, apparently I go running by Bryan West and Ben Holmes and don't even notice them at the last aid station.  So I go and say Hi and for one minute I think about taking their beer and running.  Then I realize they would catch me and take it back.  Maybe another day.  Charlie, Brian and I get our food and water, Charlie and I look up and Brian is already running.  Of course we go after him and we all try to stay together.  Charlie and I edge ahead and we proceed with more of a walk- run, purely based on bad bribery.  We'd run to shade or the next person or the tree.  And it feels like that levy will never end.  I swear 30 miles of that damn race were all on that levy.... Seriously.  We pass where Sand Rat was I start to get discouraged and Charlie has a look of WTF have you done to me.  When will this end but were determined.  We don't see Brian back there but we know he is.  Theres really no where to bail on that levy and all of a sudden we see Heather.  I swear there was a golden light around her and musical birdies when she says the finish line is up ahead.  She tells us shes going to go find Brian.  Charlie and I look at each other, and we take off.  I didn't think we had anything left in our gas tanks but somehow we had a half way sprint to the finish.

I can not tell you how great it felt to finish.  To say we did what we weren't sure was sane but it felt great!!!!  We had friends that gave us support and without them I don't think we would have gotten through it feeling so great.  Support systems are everything in long races.  They can make or break a good race or make a bad race into an epic story...
I should have written about this sooner because I'm sure I'm missing some fine points.  Once again though another great race by Lou Joline and KC Track Club. 
Till Free State Report.... Happy Running.

Why do you run and my first run.

Have you ever wondered what brings people to run?  I know seven years ago you couldnt have gotten me to run for my life, regardless of what the bribe might have been.  Then one day I quit smoking and really looked at myself in the mirror.  Its not that I didnt like the person staring back at me but it didnt feel like me.  I knew I had to find a way to change, for some reason a few days later I saw a gym on the way home and I stopped.  A couple of hours later I had a membership and no idea what I was doing.  For some reason I went to the treadmills, I think I figured it was the safest bet for me.  I walked and before long my ex-husband made a comment about someone running on it and how there was no way in hell he was going to be doing that.  Im not sure what I said but it was something to the effect that I could.  I hated the woman on that treadmill with her matching outfit and hair all up and perky.  She didn't even sweat, she was weirdly glistening.  His response was that there was no way in hell that I could keep up and so I attempted to run for a minute.  In that minute I thought I was dying and still the perky woman kept going.  I despised her, I wanted to wait till she was full on in her run and hit the stop button or turn her speed up just to watch her fly off.  Yeah I was a mean girl at that time.  Still I was running somewhat- it was more like a hunchback shuffle.  Five minutes in and I was sweating profusely.  Finally I went back to walking after about 5 minutes.  Five more minutes and I tried again and again.  Eventually I think I was half way running, granted I did not look like the lady next to me. My shuffle was gradually going away, I was kind of figuring it out.  I still did not have the joy of glistening though.  I looked like someone had turned a facet on inside of me and it was leaking out of my pores.  I remember looking over at the day care at one point and seeing my son Jack watching me also and he had a look of worry.  This could not be good.  The image in my head was not making me want to know what I looked like either.  Jack tried to offer me encouragement by giving me a thumbs up every time I looked over or maybe he just want to make sure I responded each time and was not having an epileptic fit on a treadmill.

I can not say that the first day I ran I was enlightened and hooked but I was bound and determined to prove my ex wrong.  Each day I ran more and more, but I wouldn't run outside yet.  Deep inside I had a fear of small children and old ladies throwing things at me as I passed.  Don't ask why.  Some days I would go into the gym determined to at least start off looking half way cute.  I quickly learned that the matching outfits never seemed to look right and if I tried to throw a little bit of make-up on before hand - I ended up looking like a drowned rat with dirt on her after the fact.


Now days when I see someone out there running and looking like their struggling I try to be encouraging but not to the point where they will hate me or perhaps want to kill me.  I know that feeling all to well.  I always wonder what brings people out to run and such.  I still remember that first minute and wondering what the hell was wrong with me but something clicked and it made sense.  I cant say every day feels great and I still see someone looking all matched and perfect and I kind of want to knock them over.  I now settle for gleeishly passing them, with sweat usually poring out of me in a not so glistening manner.

Why I should always be running....

For a little over a week, Ive been struggling to run.  Had a minor surgery and then had the blessing of my daughter sharing the flu with me...  UGH!  My impersonation of the exorcist is not good and then add in that I was pretty convinced I was dying at one point during it.  But that's over and done with.

But to sum it up, I've tried to run and I've ran a little but I haven't been running like me or even felt like myself to run.  As I told the Honey Badger, I felt like the little kid who was quarantined inside and watching all of her friends play outside. Smashing her face against the window and add a little trickle of snot running down her lip.  (OK - I did not have the snot but I felt like I did).  So I woke up today, and I was hoping I'd pop out of bed and magically feel like running.  Sadly no, but I had a back up plan.  The day before, Heather had brought me some awesome soup to feel better and my mom has been sick too, so I was gonna make her some.  I had even found a recipe for home made coconut cupcakes.  I was inspired.  When I told my mom I was gonna make her some soup, I'm sure she had a flash back to one of my baking projects when I was eleven.  She was sick and I made goulash...  Well lets just say I went to go stir it and the spoon stood up by itself, but I swear it tasted decent.   Then again maybe I was just trying to convince myself. I am a decent cook now, or at least Brian is smart enough to tell me I am.  But back to my project, I had decided I was going to make the coconut cupcakes.  I had checked all the ingredients off the night before and I started on it first thing this morning.  I get to the baking powder part, I reach for the backing soda.  I start to measure it out and put it in with the flour mix and I stop read the recipe and F*CK.  I don't have baking f'ing powder.  Brian gets his first plead of the day to go with me to the store.  He proceeds to try to go to the store barefoot. We have a brief discussion about why I am not going to allow him in the grocery store barefoot and I start to wonder if that was his plan so he could stay in the car.  HOWEVER, my genius self makes him wear shoes.  Score one for me.  I get in the store and start grabbing what I need.  We go and check out, where we meet the one banana lady.  Brian and I had stood in line for maybe five minutes behind a frazzled looking mother and a clerk that looked very tired.  One banana lady gets in line for about 2 seconds behind us before she goes to customer service to ask them to ring her up with her one banana.  She has places to be.  Shes going to church.  I am not against religious people and I believe in God but I do not like unappreciative one banana ladies who treat people like their beneath her.  During her ring up with her one banana, Brian and I get to over hear how shes working at the church today, and she doesn't want to eat the food, well maybe nobody wants to eat the food you prepared anyhow is what I think.   All I can think is maybe you should go for a run instead of clutching your one banana. Then I think I would really like to go for a run even if it was with one banana lady.  I could push her down and then sit on her and eat her one banana.  (yeah OK, did I mention I'm a really cranky person when I can't run) I'm hoping its a really green one, that leaves that residue afterwards all in her mouth.  I even see Brian start to mouth off to her but I stop him.  Screw this one banana non running lady, I have to finish cooking.  The lady did go on to say more,  she never does thank the lady that opened a check out for one banana lady and then promptly closed it even though our line had grown.  And no it didn't bother me then, right now, it kind of does but that's OK.  Eventually we get rung up, we get back home and I'm on to step two.  Yes I hadn't even made it to adding all the ingredients but Martha Stewart has off days.  I'm not thinking about the alternate chili run or any of that hog wash.  I'm down.  I'm freaking making coconut cupcakes, then red velvet cupcakes (mom's favorite), and then soup.  My name is Ammanda freaking Betty Crocker is my b*tch Warren.  So I get everything mixed together and the batter tastes better than anything you can buy in the store and I start spooning the cupcake batter into the little tiny cupcakes.  Let me stress the little tiny part.  About two pans later I wasn't even half way done and I realize I need another cupcake pan or I'm going to be baking till next Sunday.  Brian gets another plea for him to go to the store but this time I try to convince him to go by himself and I don't care if he doesn't wear shoes and all the fellow rednecks out in the OG wonder who lets her husband leave the house without shoes.  They can wonder that all they want, heck half the time I cant tell you why they take a perfectly good flannel shirt and rip the sleeves off, and why do they wear their ripped off sleeveless flannel in the middle of summer and pretend their not hot with their cowboy boots on and hat, then you add in a steady stream of sweat.  But one again I go back to Brian can go to the store without shoes.  Should be a OH OK honey answer.  I get a no, in a way I cant blame him.  What the f* do I do now. Well  score for Brian because he says no goes to take a shower.  Sigh, I will never be done.  Never.  My arm will probably end up falling off anyhow.  Maybe I should give up.  F that.  I ran a 50K.  Yes it was a relatively flat 50K but if I can handle a 50K, I can risk my arm falling off to make cupcakes for my mom and others.  Cut to an hour and a half later and I'm done with the cupcakes.  But I still have to make red velvet cupcakes and I am not even starting that till I get another pan and Brian is having cabin fever so we go to town to get another cupcake pan and to wonder aimlessly in stores.  By that time, I'm not feeling too whoopy.  I'm not sure if its from a mix of coconut batter that I consumed in the end or the mix of that with Heather's soup...

So we get to the Joann's so I can get a mini cupcake pan.  I grab it and we walk around the store a bit and finally go and get in line.  I see many projects I could start in that store and never finish because I'd decide to go for another run or something.  I control myself and get to the cashier, who informs me I cant use my coupon. I cant use my coupon...  That made me mad.  I had combed my car for my coupon book just for that freaking coupon because I do not go to Joann's on a regular basis and this lady with the Joan Jett hair tells me NO....  I stay calm and refuse to vomit on her because by then I feeling really bad.  She does however inform that it was on sale.  Still I had a coupon, a freaking wonderful coupon.  Don't ask - I have coupon issues and yes I blame my friend Joni for that. After that for the next two hours - Brian and I kind of wander around Target, Dicks and Walmart.  I did remember to get more cupcake liners and some other odds and ends that we needed so I guess one point for me.  Brian takes me to Jack in the Box where those kind people allow me to use my freaking coupon because they were not created by a communist group that teases people with the notion of scoring a good deal and takes it away at the very end. I get, not one, but yes TWO free tacos and they were amazing (OK I only ate one but it was still really good and Brian ate the other).  So we go back home and eat, let the dogs out of their pen and start the red velvet cupcakes.  I am, now, even more set on the red velvet cupcakes because I talk to my mom and shes still not feeling whoopy and she's depressed. 

I start the red velvet cupcakes and get about half way through the recipe and realize I don't have white vinegar...  For about 30 seconds I wonder what will happen if I use apple cider vinegar but I really don't want to mess this up, so Brian gets his third plea of the day and this time he does agree to go the store for me and wear shoes.  Oh and I forget - at some point during the red velvet recipe I toast the coconut in the oven on broiler setting.  If you ever decide to toast coconut - watch it because I think it was done after a minute and I wont tell you what it looked like after 3 minutes.   So Brian brings back the vinegar and I finish mixing the cupcakes.  I start my first pan - carefully spooning the batter into the liners.  Then I remember an article or tip I read that said to fill a zip lock baggy with batter and clip the end and whalaaaa no mess cupcakes.  No mess my a$$.  I fill up the bag, seal it - (blue and green make yellow - the bag is sealed) or so I thought, clip the end and start squirting out my cupcake batter.  At first its no mess then at some point I realize the bag is now open and batter is getting all over my hands.  I try to reseal the bag, making an even bigger mess.  At some point I get the bag empty and need to refill it and get a measuring cup and start refilling, I reseal the crappy a$$ bag (it never stays sealed during this whole process) and I need Brian's to bring me the empty pan.  So I'm standing over the mixing bowl and batter that took a bit to get in that damn tiny zip lock bag is starting to flow out.  Do I pinch the corner... NO I decide to take the measuring cup and catch the batter and attempt to refill the bag.  I don't know what I was thinking at all.  It was like an episode of, "I Love Lucy," except I was not thinking it was funny.  Eventually all the batter got into the liners.  Cupcakes got baked, soup is now simmering on the stove.  Now I get to make icing.  Part of me is a little afraid.  I was there for the last mess. 

This is why I should run, I enjoy baking but it does not calm my nerves all the time.  In fact judging by the glass of wine sitting by my lap top Id say that if I baked regularly Id probably be an alcoholic. Ive got batter in places I don't think it should be, my kitchen looks like I slaughtered someone.  I have red velvet batter all over the place.  My hands afterwards looked like I had jerked off Clifford the Big Red Dog.  Not my cup of tea and I still can not figure out why the hell I bought corn syrup....  Oh and my tip of the day - when making your egg whites into wondrous stiff peaks - don't accidentally turn on the beaters while partially in the mess.  Although Tonks, did get egg whites all over her and her coat is looking really shiny....

 Tomorrow, I really hope I feel like running or there is no telling what might happen...  Now for Gods sake - if you haven't ran today GOOOOOOOO RUNNNNNNNNN!!!


The Corn Syrup



I swear thats batter. 

Happy Thanksgiving

Today when I woke up, I admit, I was kind of pissy and having a pitty party because Thanksgiving was not going to go the way I wanted in my head.  My boys would be at their dad's, I hadn't received the good news I wanted, I didn't go and sign up for a Thanksgiving Day race...  The list could go on and on.  My b*tch list ran on and on...  So Brian, being the loving and understanding husband that he is sent me for a run, not sure if it was to save his sanity or mine. 

In my mind I told my self just a quick 20 minute run, I wasn't feeling up to a lot.  I had a party to get back too, but as I was running I started thinking, I may not have my boys today but my boys are alive and well where as there are mothers out there mourning children they no longer have.  So I wasnt signed up for a Thanksgiving day race, there are people out there who can't run and some how they survive.  So I dont always hear what I want when I want, I have ears to hear with.  I'm not the fastest runner out there but the fastest runners dont get to talk to and see the runners who really inspire others to keep at it.


I think about the things in my loved ones that I am thankful for that they constantly are teaching me.   My mom, who has shown me that no adversity ever gets her down from her eye sight to her MS she is a force of nature.  My dad, who has taught me to always put my best foot forward and if someone else beats you - f it.  No Biggie.  For my husband, who always knows the right thing to say, what I need before I know, and at times drives my nuts but he also has the inate ability to make me laugh.  To Ava for always being so blunt with me and calling me out on things, I hope she never grows out of it.  For Erin, reminding me that patience is not something you are neccessarily born with but you better find it with teenagers.  Ethan, for always keeping me on my toes and knowing when hugs are needed.  Jackson, you always make me laugh and show everyone so much kindness and generosity at the same time.  Jeramiah always wants to help and always tells people how much he cares. 

So Im giving up the pity party, the refreshments werent that great anyhow. 

Meet my therapist - Running shoes

Have you ever had one of those days where you felt things were hanging by a thread and then you lace up your shoes and 10 minutes later into a run you can see the answers.  At times you can maybe even touch them, breathe them, and you know how to act upon things to fix them.

Running has always been my therapy, I can be having the roughest of days and it helps me find balance.  It keeps me centered and I am a big believer that anyone can find it.  I maybe the crazy talker when I'm out there running because I will talk it out.  I try to keep it in my head but occasionally I will have one of those days when I have to physically talk it out.  This week has been that way for me and I still feel like I need a few more sessions.  Don't get me wrong - I do not always run for that reason.  But someimes it just keeps my head clearer.

There are times I run to feel the road beneath my feet and the cold on my arms.  There is not a better feeling then that feeling of almost flying over the pavement. Wind flying over you and knowing you're doing something to better yourself in some way.  I'm back to being five years old, I have my wonder woman costume on and I'm out to catch the bad guys.  I close my eyes just for a moment and there are no cares in the world.  Theres other times when I feel like I'm dancing, I will have the music playing in my ears and I actually feel like I have rhythm. When I run, its not that I'm someone else, its that I find someone I've missed deep inside of me.  Sometimes its a crazy five year old with no worries, sometimes I'm just a runner working on becoming another runner. One foot falling in front of the other, breathing in and out.   I know theres tons of books out there on proper running but sometimes its just about the act itself.   Anyone can be a runner, all it takes is a little faith and a good pair of running shoes.

Lou's Blue Springs 50/50

I'd love to say that this an exciting blog from my last race but its not. This race was more of a last minute whim of Brian's then mine and I just went along for the ride.  After Lake Perry, I was re-evaluating my training, my husband however was gunning for more.

A week before the 50/50 - he called me at work and asked what I thought I about the race.  I thought he was flipping crazy, but as usual I was game.  He knew all he had to say was race and running and I was game.  Although, I was smarter this time. I was going into the race for fun and to be finish, we had options in this race - 50 miles (no way in freaking hell), 50K (somewhat possible), marathon (possible) and a half marathon (no question about).  The cost was the same regardless and we could change our minds up until game day, Brian signed us up for the 50k. 

We found out Luke and Erica were also running and that gave me a little more faith in myself, even though they are more seasoned runners than me.  They are hardcore and I can not wait to be like them.  I think both of them could crank out a marathon or 50K every week for the rest of their lives and be fine. So somewhere along the way we all agreed on a 7am start, Luke was going for the 50K, Erica was going for the 50 miles, Brian was undecided and I was not deciding anything no matter what till I stepped up to the starting line.  I was being smart (for once), I knew I had done a marathon and a trail marathon and I was not pushing it.  I did seek the advice of others and I mulled it over. 

So Friday before the race and when we had initially checked it out we had seen packet pick up was that day.  Unfortunately, it had been changed too Saturday and Brian was not thrilled so we tredged home and just relaxed.  We decided we werent doing packet pick up till the day of, and we'd give the kids a Halloween weekend to make up for going to another race morning.  So Saturday came and went and I prepared for the 50K - I hadnt decided what race I was doing but I was going to be prepared as I could be.  Sunday morning, I woke up at 3am wide awake so I started my routine (no way in hell I was going to skip my routine after Perry).  The race started at 7am at Little Blue Trace and that was 15 minutes away.  We left our house at 615 and then started to worrry that maybe we should have gotten there sooner.

So we show up and I decide what the hell, I'll do the 50K, if I feel funky during the race I stop.  I wasnt planning for speed records or anything really exccept having fun and finishing.  Brian decided on the half marathon because he had been having foot issues.  We meet up with Erica and shes ready to rock it Honey Badger style and get our packets. Then we realize we left stuff in the van so we rush back, see Luke - get our stuff from the van and realize - Holy Komododragons - its freaking 7am.  That sends me into sheer panic and I have to go to the restroom and who knows how long that will take or what.  So we rush over to the newly repositioned portapotties (thanks Brian and Lou Joline and other random stranger) and I take care of business and Brian and I take off at about 7:05.  I was a little irritated because Erica and I had said we may run togeteher and I didnt want to be a punk.  But weve got plenty of time to catch her so I stay nice and steady with Brian.  I had no desire to be fast and I was gonna have fun. 

So we run and talk and I show Brian my new dancing techniques at certain points.  Granted other runners probably thought I was having an epliletpc fit or imitating a chicken but it entertained Brian..  I have no dancing skills or rhythem.  Ive long since accepted it so Ive honed it to entertain myself and others.  Never ask me to a organized kick boxing class which I hate to say they need to add - were goin g to attempt to make you look stupid while you work out classes.  Sorry completely off subject.

So we are running and finally we get to the half marathon turn around and we stop at the aid station,  Brian gets ready to go back and I eat fig newtons while some random lady tries to tell me I need to turn around which in turn frustrates me because apparently she didnt think I looked like a long distance runner.  The evil Ammanda wanted to go stuff her head in a porta potty till she said otherwise but I just decide whatever - I'll show her.  So I take off and about a mile afterwards Im heading into woods and I realize it looks like a scene from Grimm and I am sure im gonna get mangled by the big bad wolf who probably will look like my angry eighty year old Italian looking grandma named Betty.  Good show but made me a bit paranoid in the woods so I scooted along faster and then I see a Lake Perry shirt up ahead and I get happy. Its Erica so I hurry a bit more.

I must say - Erica and I ran for probably a good 15-20 miles and she made it fly.  We talked about so much random stuff and probably strange stuff too. Erica brings out the drunken sailor talk in me.  I'm bad about it but usually I get scolded to stop.  Co-Workers have an instant shhh for me at work when I get on a tirade and the word vomit starts but Erica just lets me go.  Soon we run into Brian coming back and hes checking on us and he entertains us for a bit. He tells me later that every other word out of my mouth was F but I was ok with it.  Just needed to take it out by the time we got back to the kids.   Then we cross by the starting line again and were off for the last part for me.  Before long we get to the marathon turn around and I have to re-evaluate and make sure Im ready.  I decide what the hell I feel good and I really do owe Erica.  She kept me steady and from doing anything stupid.  I didnt focus on every little twinge and worry.  I was relaxed and enjoying myself.

At some point I know I tell Erica I may start to pull away and she assures me its fine shes going for 50 miles and its fine.  So I pull away and at some point on the run were on the trail and its next to the trailor park, and I start to think wow thats a serial killer place waiting to happen.  I really need to STOP watching shows, and reading books that let my imagination get away from me.  Then again I'm surprised that some diamond looking vampire and werewolf didnt come running at me at some point.  Now that would have helped speed up my pace some too.  But thats neither here nor there,  I guess I was trying to explain it was a creepy freaking trailer park, I think they had us go by it near the last part because it caused us to pick up the pace or maybe it's just me.  Who knows.  So Im plugging along and going and we reach the final freaking turn around which TOOK FOREVER.  I remember vaguely passsing Erica and I am starting to feel the miles, and I see Brian probably about a mile from the marathon turn around.  Then I realize I have to go to the bathroom.  I dont do woods well, and plus add in I have no balance.  Can we just say not a good idea.  Brian has a picture where you can see the I gotta pee sheen on my face.  UGH.  So I know theres a darn porta potty by the turn around so Im trying to hurry which is near impossible.  Finally I see it bust in there and I cant go.  WTF!  So Im trying and nothing.  So I leave the palace digs of the porta potty and start treading on.  Brian grabs me a handful of cheese its and we discuss that he should have done the marathon because he already hit the miles.  So were slowly moving and going along. Were going and going and I see the finish line and I really start to think the miles are getting to me.  I swear I see Ashley and Matty and thats impossible because Ashley had sent a message earlier saying she was hung over. Part of me wonders what the hell was in those cheese its.  BUT I wasnt hallucinating.  Ashley, Brian, Ashleys sister and the lovely Sadie were there. Luke had finished and looked as refreshed and barefoot as always.  Im telling TRAIL NERDS ROCK...  They came with PBR and hand and it meant the freaking world.  Im telling you there are no better friends then running friends,  they understand the crazy miles, early morning and your devistation at not running, not hitting a PR, or whatever running related problem you got.   We all wait for Erica to pass by and take off, watch Sadie and Matty pose for their engagement photos.  Finally we decide we got to go and clean up and tak the kids to another Halloween thing. 

As were leaving the Halloween event we check faccebook and realize Erica is close to finishing and we are five minutes away so Brian speeds off so we can cheer her on.  When we pull up Luke is still there waiting on her too.  We start walking, half running down the trail to find Erica and we see her just plowing along relentlessly.  So we go with her for a bit and we get to the last bit and let Erica take off. 

So thats that - Lous 50/50 - not really alot to tell. But it was a great race and a great starting point to give someone the Ultra bug.   If you want to get a 50K under your belt I really would suggest Lous.  It was a great atmosphere and all that jazz...

Happy Running!